2025 Standings

Scott Flathers had himself a week in the "big" league. Kevin Gausman dropped 65 points in a single day — a single day — for Team Tommy John, which is honestly the most impressive and most embarrassing thing to happen in this league simultaneously. Impressive because 65 points in one outing is the kind of performance that makes you feel like a genius. Embarrassing because Scott's week total was 89 points.

Derrik Charles. Buddy. Pal. What in the actual hell are you doing over there? Big Red Machine put up a very respectable 807 points in week 22, and somehow — SOMEHOW — that was only the beginning of the story. Because rotting away on that bench like forgotten leftovers in the back of the fridge? A casual 259 points. Two hundred and fifty-nine.

Ryan Rau's active roster dropped 1,255 points in Week 22, which, fine, respectable. But while those guys were out there doing the work, Rau had a full roster of ringers sitting in sweatpants on the couch. Tanner Bibee went off for 99 points on the bench. Ninety-nine. Eury Perez chipped in 69. Cam Schlittler, a guy most of us have never thought about for more than four seconds, quietly put up 63. Luis Castillo, Parker Messick, Will Warren — all just vibing in the reserves like they didn't have somewhere to be.

Bart Yeager, owner of the tragically named Garrett's Go Getters, somehow assembled one of the most absurd benches in recent league memory this week and then just... left them there. Like milk on the counter. Like a Wikipedia tab you meant to read. Just rotting.

Scott Flathers had a perfectly good week. 983 points is nothing to sneeze at. But while Scott was out there feeling good about himself, Gunnar Henderson was sitting on his bench scoring 71 points like a forgotten leftovers container in the back of the fridge. Seventy-one points. From Gunnar Henderson. Who Scott owns. Who did not play.

Austin Wolke's squad dropped 827 points in Week 22, which is genuinely impressive. Good week. Solid. Pat yourself on the back. Except — and I cannot stress this enough — he also had 399 points sitting on his bench doing absolutely nothing, like a bunch of guys waiting at the restaurant while the rest of the team was at a totally different restaurant.

Let's just get into it. Donald Ballash, owner of the Ballash Bombers, sat Lawrence Butler — Lawrence Butler, who dropped 69 points — on his bench in Week 22. Sixty-nine points. On the bench. Rotting. Like produce Donald forgot he bought.

Let's talk about the 543 points Kyle Lehman left rotting on his bench in Week 22 like forgotten leftovers in the back of a work fridge. Five hundred and forty-three points. That's not a bench, that's a starting lineup for a competent manager.

The Buddy System's manager apparently hates winning.

Okay, so Timothy Black scored 1,280 points this week with Black Ice. That's a solid number. Respectable, even. Under normal circumstances, you'd tip your cap and move on. But we cannot move on. We will not move on. Because Timothy also left 766 points sitting on his bench like forgotten leftovers in the back of the fridge.

Greg Black put up a respectable 972 points in Week 22 with Desk Jockey. Cool. Good for him. Except he also left 484 points decomposing on his bench like leftovers nobody bothered to refrigerate.